Dear Baby Boomers,
Aaron Sorkin calls us, the Millennials, the Worst (pause) Generation (pause) ever.
And he must be right. Just look at those tattooed necks and gauged ears. We are characterized by an unwillingness to work, unwillingness to leave home, a need for redirection, praise and general over-entitlement. So, we Jersey Shore-watching, mewling, Lindsay Lohan-worshipping, selfie-snapping, YOLO morons must be the worst, right?
Certainly that's a fair label to place on us. The oldest among us right now would is already 32 after all (though most of us are in our 20s). You guys all had things totally figured out during your 20s, right?
More to the point, Boomers, what exactly have you done that was so great? Landed us on the moon? Your parents did that. Created life changing inventions and innovations? The most important invention to come along during your time (the internet) - again - had its genesis with your parents. Have you made life aggregately better for people in society? Not really. Not by most metrics.
In fact, since these statistics have been tracked, my generation is the first one in history not likely to substantially eclipse our parents in terms of quality of life or inflation-adjusted income.
During your parents generation, life expectancy increased by 30% or 18 years. During your generation? 10% or 7 years.
You spent your entire younger years protesting the unjust wars to which your parents sent you and then what did you do when you took the reins? Sent us on several more, killing my generation by the thousands in an act of mind-boggling hypocrisy. And just for laughs - if it's possible - the Iraq War was even more misguided and unnecessary than Vietnam.
After we finally routed out McCarthy and Red Scare hysteria? You all come swooping in with anti-Islamic hate-mongering.
You complained about how your parents didn't understand you and judged
your music while doing exactly the same thing to hip hop. This, even
after GenX and the Millennials embraced their parents music like no
generations before. The Beatles and Stones still do astounding levels of business. Find me a 25 year old who thinks Beyonce is queen bee and I'll find you another who thinks music peaked in 1972. The culture wars are over. You won through sheer attrition.
Your parents presided over the greatest period of American prosperity in the history of the country (and, in many ways, the most equitable). You? You created a sputtering prosperity based on an endless series of economic bubbles that vastly rewards the wealthy over everyone else.
Your parents created a safety net FOR YOU and you've spent your entire time trying to cut it for both them and us while your generational prosperity comparatively grows. Those of prime working age have never had better while the glut of foreclosures and evictions as well as systematic labor demographics disproportionately and negatively affect the young and the elderly.
Your parents and grandparents and everyone before them saved money and then you stopped. The mantra of this country was to leave the world better for their children then when they found and yours was the first concerned primarily with itself.
Your parents gave us The New Deal, The Great Society, Brown v Board of Education, The Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Clean Air and Clean Water Acts. What did you give us? The War on Drugs? Welfare reform? The Defense of Marriage Act? The repeal of Glass-Stegall? Tax cuts (for yourselves)? Tax cuts (for the rich)? AN ENDLESS MOTHERFUCKING DRUMBEAT ABOUT THE DANGERS OF OBAMACARE? Socialized medicine will be the end of us. Enjoy your Medicare.
During your parents generation, we got Truman, Eisenhower, Johnson and Kennedy - each with failings, certainly, but each with a series of equanimity-based policy accomplishments staggering by today's standards. And once you all "tuned in and turned on," we got Nixon, Reagan, Clinton and 2 Bushes - the worst string of Presidents since the end of the 19th century. Almost worse than that, by your sheer numbers, insistence and half-cocked dumbass reasoning that Reagan single-handedly ended the coldwar on June 12, 1987 now we have to deal with him in the Pantheon of great presidents. Bad news, friends. He's not.
You've created a society in which housing costs a higher percentage of income than at any point since the Depression. You've made it so that we're tens of thousands of dollars in debt - not as a perk - but as a requirement before we even enter the workforce. You gave us the highest divorce rate ever. You failed to update GI Bill to equitable levels while you have us fighting in the longest wars in our country's history. You put up every barrier you possibly could to our collective generational success and before we've even gotten the reins, you call us the worst generation ever.
What the fuck did you ever do? Seriously, what do you imagine your legacy to be? What exactly is it that you're all so proud of?
We embraced your music and culture. We more or less listened to your advice and became more cautious. We are the most post-material, team-playing, empathetic generation in history by any demographic study. We became exactly what you wanted and now you turn on us before we even have our first time up at bat.
If you feel anything I wrote was unfair or didn't apply to you, imagine how we feel. You've had 40 years of dominance. We haven't even had our time yet. And it's not like your time was any great shakes.
